So I finally broke down and started reading A Game of Thrones. Naturally, today's erasure prompt is taken from pages 44 and 45. Here we go!
First, I circled the words and phrases that stood out:
fingers, rough stone, wrought all in rubies, "In my dreams, I kill him every night," pillar, tomb, bitter twist, doubts, wounds, bleed again, "she left in the dead of night," sworn to protect, rattling among the tombs, flash of white teeth in the thicket
Do I want the fingers to be rough as stone? Do I want the fingers touching something that is rough as stone? And what is wrought in rubies? The object being felt or the fingers themselves? To whom do the fingers belong?
The mother's fingers, grown stone rough,
years of working shears, threaded needles
pricked and pushed, creating faces,
dresses trimmed in ribbon, trimmed in lace.
Grown thick as pillars, silver-circled,
wrought all in rubies. Ringed fingers
sworn to protect...
I'm not sure I like this direction, so...
Flash of white in tomb-strewn thicket,
rough stone pillars sworn to protect.
Fingers rattle, wrought all in rubies.
In my dreams, bitter twist of teeth.
I like the imagery here better.
I'm getting a definite fairy/folk tale, ancient stone circles feel here, and I'm afraid that I am not successfully separating the feel of the novel from the feel of the words that will be a poem. Not that they have to be different, but, when I do erasures, I like to try to deviate as far as possible from the subject and tone of the original text.
In a bitter twist,
I kill him every night.
Hmmm...this might be interesting! What would you do with this erasure?
Martin, George R.R. A Game of Thrones. New York: Bantam Books, 1996.